You know, every once in a while the brunt of military might and its effects on life come flying to the forefront of my thoughts. Not just the lasting effects, no, that’s too easy. Screw the pollution, the death, the destruction, the repeated CNN soundbites, the irradiated landmasses, the fact that worldwide fertility rates have dropped by half since 1955, that the worldwide oxygen level is down from 21% to 19%...who would have thunk that radiation hurt trees, plankton, phytoplankton — AND the testicles at the same time? KEEN!

But seriously, folks — if the US didn’t bomb Hiroshima or Nagasaki, we would have nothing to measure damage with. Think about it. Where would we be without being able to say: "The explosion of the high-speed train slamming into that herd of gaseous bovine creatures was equivalent to 2, COUNT THEM TWO, Hiroshima bombs" so there.

War just wouldn’t be as fun without this capability.

Go google it, you bastards.

We measure everything by our greatest achievement of destruction in the past. As humans, we measure everything by the worst. And when we do not measure by the worst, we only compare the best negatively. Notice that? That’s not right, right?

Same thing with horses. If we never had horses, how would we be able to tell who could kick ass in a street race? How could we have big gas guzzling monster vehicles of high speed manglement advertised to us, thus causing drooling and an intense desire to purchase by most testosterone based life forms on the planet? Especially in the good ol’ Bushland, er, United States.

Yeah, we’re a strange bunch. If you truly think you are a hairless monkey, then you should never be surprised that monkeys throw feces at people in zoos. They want nothing to do with the bastard cousins we are — disowned.